“Come on, Europe, you can’t judge us. You had fascists; we had fascists. You have rulers that marry their cousins; we have Rudy, who married his cousin. You had Nosferatu; we have — we have Rudy. Potato, pot-ah-to,” Stephen Colbert said.
“Tomorrow, that cicada will be on Fox News in a neck brace calling for Biden to be impeached: ‘See what he did to me! It’s on tape.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The cicada returned to his buddies like, ‘Damn, the old man’s quicker than I expected.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Forget the Secret Service; that man needs a SWAT team!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Meanwhile, Mike Pence was like, ‘Bugs on your head — you’re supposed to save that for the big debate.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Kristen Bell played a game of “You Can Only Keep One” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Tig Notaro, star of Netflix’s “Army of the Dead,” will appear on Thursday’s “Conan.”
Also, Check This Out
A new AMC+ show satirizes the tradition of hot wives with schlubby husbands on network sitcoms.