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Stephen Colbert Says Republicans Have Gone Full Cult for Trump

“Tonight was the start of the Republican National Convention, a week of speeches, celebration and white people walking up to Ben Carson saying, ‘Wait, aren’t you the one that died?’” — TREVOR NOAH

“Just like the Democrats, the G.O.P. has given each night of the convention a different theme. I believe the four nights are ‘Famine,’ ‘Pestilence,’ ‘War’ and ‘Death.’ OK, I’m being told the actual themes are ‘Land of Promise,’ ‘Land of Opportunity,’ ‘Land of Heroes’ and ‘Land of Greatness.’ Better luck next time, Land o’ Lakes and Lando Calrissian.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“So death is one plank of the Republican platform — what else does the G.O.P. stand for? No one knows, because it was announced last night that the G.O.P. will not write a 2020 platform. Well, that makes sense, given how much Trump struggles to get down from platforms.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“So in lieu of a platform, the R.N.C. released a one-page resolution that pledges its undying support to Trump. That’s not a political party — that’s a cult! [as Trump] ‘Welcome to the convention, everybody. Take off your masks and put on your matching Nikes and your MAGA hats. Then drink up our bleach-flavored Kool-Aid. I’m marrying all the daughters. Guess which one first?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And unlike any previous conventions, the candidate, Donald Trump, is gonna be featured each day of the convention. Each day. That is shocking; Donald’s going to work four days in a row?” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Usually the presidential nominee speaks on the last night, but this year, Trump is breaking the tradition, and he’s speaking on all four nights, because of course he is.” — JAMES CORDEN

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