NHL fans in Detroit throw octopus on the ice, and we have seen catfish appearances in Nashville during this playoff series. So what do you propose for Avalanche fans to toss? I’m leaning toward Rocky Mountain oysters.
Mike, future seafood tosser
Kiz: I’d suggest big fat doobies, brother. While the volume on “Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver is cranked up to 11 over the arena’s sound system.
Hey, Denver Central Market, do you stock fresh catfish? And, if so, how much would it cost to have one delivered to Kiszla at The Denver Post?
Eric, big fish in little pond
Kiz: Thanks, bro. Fried catfish is good eatin’. Can you also send over a bottle of Four Roses Single Barrel, or some other fine bourbon from Kentucky? Most of the stuff from Tennessee is rot gut.
Sir, I don’t know you, and I’m sure you are a fine person, but your column decrying the hit by Nashville’s Ryan Johansen on Avalanche defenseman Tyson Barrie was so childlishly written, I had to make sure it was printed in a reputable newspaper. Although I hate for any hockey player to get hurt, this is a big-boy sport, and the playoffs are tough. Please do not go through this series being upset about every hit and begging for a suspension.
Glenna, Nashville proud
Kiz: Know what’s cool? After I dubbed Johansen “The Ripper” for his cheap shot on Barrie, a Nashville apparel company liked my idea so much, that a Joey The Ripper T-shirt was available for sale within 36 hours. Hey, I don’t want any credit. All I ask is a dollar of every sale go to the National Sports Center for the Disabled, my favorite charity.
Hey snowflake, Johansen was playing hockey. No wonder you didn’t recognize it.
Jim, loves his Predators
Kiz: I lived in Nashville during the 1970s, and during the winter, if even one snowflake fell, it paralyzed the city. Judging from the outrage by the fawning Smashville media after I called out Johansen for a cheap shot on Barrie, little has changed in 40 years. This little snowflake brought the town to a standstill, while every Predators fan whimpered.
I wanted to let you know someone has hacked your Denver Post account, and is posting stupid columns under your name. Thought you should be aware.
Alan, hall-pass monitor
Kiz: I know. It has been a problem for years. The crack technology staff here at Kickin’ It Headquarters has repeatedly implemented a patch, which never seems to stick for more than a week or two.
And today’s parting shot is a little smack talk from Portland, by way of Bosnia and Herzegovina.
Blazers center Jusuf Nurkic and Rip City wishes those guys on the Nuggets another great summer. Nurkic more than proved his point to coach Michael Malone. He’s an NBA starter and taking his team to the playoffs for the second consecutive year. Hope Malone gets fired! He stinks. And Nikola Jokic should leave Denver. It’s really a football town.
M.S., unleashing the Beast